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THE EYES HAVE IT

1st April 2016 @ 6:06am – by Ted Lush
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Many of you will know that Cheshire Police have had a number of successes in the recent past. There has been a 12% reduction in rural crime and a 17.5% increase in rural crimes solved and in the financial year which begins today 70 new police officers will be recruited making Cheshire the only force outside London recruiting.

However, Tarvinonline understands from the Police and Crime Commissioner, John Dwyer, that none of the new officers will be seen in the Tarvin Parish area, indeed no officers will be assigned to Tarvin parish.
Instead of regular police officers and community support officers Tarvin is going to be the parish where a unique form of surveillance will be undertaken. It seems that the Commissioner, some months ago recruited a group of local men, whose connection is unclear, to act as the eyes of the force in the parish 24/7.

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All the team members have been specially trained, with a particular emphasis on blending into their rural environment. If some of you have noted in the recent past what appeared to be new bushes in the Community Woodland we understand this might not be all it seems. According to the Commissioner some of the recruits have taken their role so seriously they have changed their diets with nuts, seeds and greens replacing meat and fish.

The Commissioner is so confident that the new initiative will bear results he intends to parade those individuals who are caught by his special team. The first parade will be held on Friday 15th May. It will start at 11am from the King George V playing field and finish in the centre of the village outside the George and Dragon the place the Commissioner feels is the most patriotic venue in the parish.
Many of you will have noted that the pavement on the upper part of the High street has been replaced to make it more comfortable for viewers of the parade. (Please note that buses will be re-routed between 10:30 and 13:00 but there will be ample notices). The Commissioner hopes that as many law abiding residents as possible will turn out to support him.
He hopes that portable stocks will be available so that offenders can be punished in the traditional way. However it needs to be pointed out to everyone that because of EU rules and Health and Safety regulations only Grade 1 fruit and vegetables can be thrown and each item must be peeled.
The Commissioner also hopes that the various food outlets in the village centre will enter into the spirit of the event and have available for those who want it traditional English food, not just fish and chips but black pudding, pizza and chicken tikka masala.

Come along on the 15th and enjoy the spectacle, the eyes have it!

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